Vine vs. TikTok

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Vine vs. TikTok

Anabell Xu, Staff Writer

It has been years since Vine’s untimely demise, and yet I still find myself tragically weeping over the grave of what I believe was the greatest platform for self-expression ever conceived, perhaps even greater than the written word. Who can deny the masterful creation and conception, the gorgeous cinematography, the impeccable acting, the sophistication, the elegance, the poise, the comedic genius that went into every single Vine?

Vine’s story is like a Shakespearean tragedy. It was a beautiful, exquisite lover, gone too soon, murdered by the one it trusted most: Twitter. Truly deserving of an F in the chat.

But hark! On the horizon, what abomination rises from the depths, here to defile the grave of our immortal platform? It can’t be—TikTok! The center of cringe! The sanctum of sacrilege! The pit of pestilence! How dare it stand where Vine once stood? How dare it vandalize Vine’s memory with teenagers attempting to play Overwatch with a PS4 controller?

My god, look at this filth. Hitting the whoa? Child’s play compared to exquisite mannequin heads stuffed under hoodies. And what is this? The possibility for something called a… a duet? Collaboration and the possibility for parody? Something that was originally intended for people to sing together but is now being used in a somewhat interesting and funny way, on my virtual video sharing platform? Heretical!

“I’m already Tracer” is nothing compared to the excessive proliferation of “dat (insert thing here) doe.” One was originally cringy but is now being used to promote small chuckles, and the other is just cringy! Vine was significantly better than TikTok because when Vine was cringy, it was even cringier than TikTok! Ha! Superior in every way.

Look at these sheep desperately falling over themselves for just a taste of TikTok fame! I will not stand for this grievous copyright infringement, I tell you!

You know, I was looking online, reminiscing over the good ol’ days— watching those Vine compilations that feature the same ten vines—and I discovered a heretic! A fallen devotee! Someone had put together a video of bad Vines!

“Bad vines!” I hear you gasp. “But there were no bad Vines! Just like there were no sponsored Vines, no cringy Vines, no Vines that were really creepy and probably needed to get removed from the platform entirely, no Vines that shouldn’t have been shown to children, no Vines that banked entirely on the attractive looks of their creators! Those are just TikTok things!”

Because we can’t be looking at things with the rose-tinted lenses of nostalgia! We can’t be only remembering the positive aspects of a platform that was so much worse than we remember! We aren’t being unfair to TikTok and ignoring all the possibilities for legitimate creativity that the platform fosters in favor of cringe comedy and our need to feel better than people!

Because hey guys, look at how cringy this TikTok is! Vine was so much better.